Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Tanked: The "Kerry Perry Goes to Capitol Hill" Drinking Game


You guys, there's a dumpster fire cocktail!

It even has a little dumpster!

Can you think of a drink that is more perfect for Kerry Perry's trip to Capitol Hill?

I sure as sin can't!

Before we get to the drinking, here's what you need to know:
  • The dumpster fire begins at 10 am Eastern on Wednesday, May 23. (Yes, I recognize that 10 am is a bit aggressive for a drinking game, but I'm from the Midwest. 10 am is a late start.)

  • You can watch the dumpster fire here.

  • Rumor is that Deborah Daniels has been prepping Kerry Perry for this hearing. (Yes, the very same Deborah Daniels who prepared the "independent" report for USAGym. I know, right?)

  • You can read Kerry Perry's opening statement ahead of time. It's basically a written version of her deer-in-headlights video.

  • GymCastic provides a good recap of who did what – and, unfortunately, who didn't do what – leading up to Larry Nassar's arrest.

All right, let's light this bad boy on fire.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Men's UTRS: The Best Scores of 2017 – Updated May 23rd




I've decided to revive the UTRS (Uncle Tim Ranking System), which, for those who care, is pronounced "uterus." For the time being, it's going to be a very tiny UTRS, mostly because there haven't been many meets. But as we see more men, the UTRS will expand.

As per usual, take these rankings with a grain of salt. (Pro Tip: Never bet your life savings based on my numbers–or my predictions for that matter.) Judging varies from meet to meet, and as you can see, I've culled these scores from several meets. I've included the competition names so that you can decide how much crack (or meth) the judges smoked before handing out the scores.

More than anything, you should think of these tables like this: New quad, new Code of Points. What the H is a good score nowadays? I don't think anyone knows right now. So, let me show you…

Key:
  • An asterisk (*): Usually denotes a routine for which I have a final score without a D score.
  • Bold text indicates scores that have been added since the last update.
  • Links, when available, are provided for the top 5 routines.

Notes
  • Yes, I know that the names from Asian countries are all jumbled up. I'll try to fix it when I have the chance. For the time being, I'm fairly certain you can figure out who's who.
  • As always, if I missed someone, let me know in the comments. Obrigado.


Men's All-Around Rankings: Best Scores






NameCountryScoreMeet
1. Xiao Ruoteng
肖若腾
CHN87.800Asian Champs AA
2. Lin Chaopan
林超攀
CHN87.450Asian Champs AA
3. Yul MoldauerUSA86.900Winter Cup F
4. Kohei Uchimura
(内村 航平)
JPN86.550NHK Cup
5. Shirai Kenzo
(白井 健三)
JPN86.450NHK Cup
6. Akash ModiUSA86.300Winter Cup Q
6. Yusuke Tanaka
(田中 佑典)
JPN86.300All-Japan Champs F
8. Kenta Chiba
(千葉 健太)
JPN86.050All-Japan Champs Q
9. Oleg Verniaiev
(Олег Верняєв)
UKR85.966European Champs Q
10. Wataru Tanigawa
(谷川 航)
JPN85.850All-Japan Champs Q
10. Shogo Nonomura
(野々村 笙吾)
JPN85.850NHK Cup
12. Kazuyuki Takeda
(武田 一志)
JPN85.650All-Japan Champs F
13. Yusuke Tanaka
(田中 佑典)
JPN85.500NHK Cup
14. Artur Dalaloyan
(Артур ДАЛАЛОЯН)
RUS85.498European Champs AA
15. Kazuma Kaya
(萱和磨)
JPN85.350All-Japan Champs Q
16. Fuya Maeno
(前野 風哉)
JPN85.100All-Japan Champs Q
17. Allan BowerUSA85.050Winter Cup F
17. Yuya Kamoto
神本 雄也
JPN85.050All-Japan Champs F
17. Deng Shudi
邓书弟
CHN85.050Chinese Nationals AA
20. Masayoshi Yamamoto
(山本 翔一)
JPN84.800All-Japan Champs Q
21. James HallGBR84.664European Champs AA
22. Ryohei Kato
(加藤 凌平)
JPN84.600All-Japan Champs F
23. Sun Wei

向旭东
CHN84.600Chinese Nationals
24. Minsoo ParkKOR84.550Asian Champs AA
25. Tomomasa Hasegawa
(長谷川 智将)
JPN84.450All-Japan Champs F


Sunday, April 9, 2017

Men's UTRS: The Best Scores of 2017 – Updated April 9th



I've decided to revive the UTRS (Uncle Tim Ranking System), which, for those who care, is pronounced "uterus." For the time being, it's going to be a very tiny UTRS, mostly because there haven't been many meets. But as we see more men, the UTRS will expand.

As per usual, take these rankings with a grain of salt. (Pro Tip: Never bet your life savings based on my numbers–or my predictions for that matter.) Judging varies from meet to meet, and as you can see, I've culled these scores from several meets. I've included the competition names so that you can decide how much crack (or meth) the judges smoked before handing out the scores.

More than anything, you should think of these tables like this: New quad, new Code of Points. What the H is a good score nowadays? I don't think anyone knows right now. So, let me show you…

Key:
  • An asterisk (*): Usually denotes a routine for which I have a final score without a D score.
  • Bold text indicates scores that have been added since the last update.
  • Links, when available, are provided for the top 5 routines.

Notes:
  • The official results sheets for Russian Nationals do not include D scores. I love you, Gymternet, but I don't have time to score every routine on YouTube. Wedding planning > Scoring routines. So, there may be a few Russian gymnasts who have big Ds and aren't listed. If you know who they are, leave their names and D scores in the comments section below.
  • As always, if I missed someone, let me know in the comments. Obrigado.


Men's All-Around Rankings: Best Scores






NameCountryScoreMeet
1. Yul MoldauerUSA86.900Winter Cup F
2. Kohei Uchimura
(内村 航平)
JPN86.350All-Japan Champs F
3. Akash ModiUSA86.300Winter Cup Q
3. Yusuke Tanaka
(田中 佑典)
JPN86.300All-Japan Champs F
5. Shirai Kenzo
(白井 健三)
JPN86.100All-Japan Champs F
6. Kenta Chiba
(千葉 健太)
JPN86.050All-Japan Champs Q
7. Wataru Tanigawa
(谷川 航)
JPN85.850All-Japan Champs Q
8. Oleg Verniaiev
(Олег Верняєв)
UKR85.699American Cup
9. Kazuyuki Takeda
(武田 一志)
JPN85.650All-Japan Champs F
10. Kazuma Kaya
(萱和磨)
JPN85.350All-Japan Champs Q
11. Fuya Maeno
(前野 風哉)
JPN85.100All-Japan Champs Q
12. Allan BowerUSA85.050Winter Cup F
12. Yuya Kamoto
神本 雄也
JPN85.050All-Japan Champs F
14. Shogo Nonomura
(野々村 笙吾)
JPN84.900All-Japan Champs F
15. Masayoshi Yamamoto
(山本 翔一)
JPN84.800All-Japan Champs Q
16. Ryohei Kato
(加藤 凌平)
JPN84.600All-Japan Champs F
17. Tomomasa Hasegawa
(長谷川 智将)
JPN84.450All-Japan Champs F
18. Artur Dalaloyan
(Артур ДАЛАЛОЯН)
RUS84.431Russian Nationals Q
19. Donnell WhittenburgUSA84.200Winter Cup Q
20. Takuya NaganoJPN84.000All-Japan Champs Q